I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize