I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
