Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
