Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
