oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
