also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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