Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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