For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
