You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
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