we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
