She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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