he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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