i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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