Where are you?
In a non slutty way
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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