What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
