hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
