yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
