is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
