Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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