stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
