it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
