I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
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I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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