no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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