Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
