You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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