I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
