Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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