how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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