The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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