how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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