Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
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I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
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Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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