Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
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I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
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Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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