I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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