Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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