just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
