Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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