You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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