you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
