so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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