Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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