There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
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She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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