Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
