if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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