First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
