its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Randomize
