They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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