I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
