Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
