The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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