Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize