i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize