So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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