Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
