but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
