He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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