"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
