he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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