Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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