just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
