3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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