The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
