well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
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I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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