i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You made out with two different species that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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